Where am I?
Posted on June 11, 2008 - Filed Under Uncategorized
The tears crash familiar to make salty tide pools between my breasts,
in the curve of my collarbone,
down my arms,
into my mouth where the memories swim,
unable to breathe the strangeness of the air.
The cracked whiteness of the ceiling lets the uncertainty in,
marring would-be smoothness with black rivers,
gray mountain ranges,
erratic and thirsty veins departed from my certain body.
A place near the top of my ribcage aches
as emaciated breaths leave me to join their sister winds,
anxious exhalations that depart too hot,
spicily twanging my throat and tongue dissonantly
and gone too quick to puzzle out a note.
The hot near-silence is heavy with fatigue and confusion,
so much blood pouring snake-like from a miscarrying woman.
Alone in it,
I choose my silences,
letting eyes wander instead.
They always find the circle of the ceiling fan,
curving so quick there is no separation of motion,
no blades pushing invisibility around,
but one motionless movement,
mirroring my dazedly shallow breaths.
In, out, around.
Nothing ever changes til it stops.
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